Amazing Chirstmas Present!

Even though this Christmas had some glum moments, there were some bright spots too.

Dave got me the most amazing gift! A co-worker of his told him about Pandora charm bracelets. His co-worker was very enthusiastic about this bracelet and raved about it. So Dave, being the thorough and thoughtful husband, did some research and checked it out.

Well, Dave surprised me and took me to a jewelry store to pick out my bracelet and charms. I was so excited. It was so fun to look at all the pretty things. The way it works is the charms are beads that slide on the bracelet and you can add clips to lock them in place. So, we left the jewelers with a bracelet and a few beads and clips. I then was able to order some additional beads online (Amazon has a HUGE collection.)

I just love it! You can pick charm beads to represent people and memories. The very first bead I chose was a bead to represent Dave (it has hearts on it.) I then close beads to represent Spencer and Jacob. Spencer's charm is a star (like the single star on the Vietnam flag.) Jacob is the Chinese symbol for "happiness." I also chose a bead that says "Believe" and one with flowers for my love of gardening. Then to top it all off I chose a group of glass beads to add color. I chose red.




The great part of this whole gift is that for anniversaries and birthdays Dave can look at the "wish list" I compiled on Amazon and Pandora to get some gift ideas I am guaranteed to love! I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

A week ago today

It was a week ago today that we heard the final word on our pending adoption. I have been at peace for most of the last week. But, today was a hard day. We got an email from our agency with all the tax information and also a letter explaining our failed adoption of Nathan (the name Caralee chose for her baby) and our timeline. It was so stark and formal (as all tax documents should be) still, I felt very sad reading the words and reliving it again.

Spencer is still asking questions and wondering when Luke will be coming home. He is sad about it and makes statements like "I love Jacob and I don't want him to go anywhere." As it turns out, "Luke" never even existed, it was a name we chose for a baby that was never going to be ours. Caralee had the name Nathan chosen before the birth and put that name on the birth certificate less then 24 hours after he was born. I know it does no good to wish. . . but I wish she would have been up front about her doubts. It would have helped us protect our family. We are still dealing with the aftermath.

Again, I feel that her baby was not meant to be part of our family. I feel total peace with Caralee's decision not to place her baby. I just feel sad for the pain our family is going through, a pain that could have been much less.

Well, things are mostly good and my "moments" are happening less and less. I am semi-dreading church on Sunday. I am sure we will get some questions from those that do not know. It will be hard to hear, "Where's that new little baby of yours?" and worse yet it will be hard to hear, "You must be devastated" (Can I just reply: "Why, yes. Yes we are.") I am sure will also get, "What happened?" and "It must have been expensive." I have no desire to relive the details or talk about the dollar signs. I have already had a neighbor tell me, "Well, I am sure as soon as she saw him she just couldn't give him away."

However, Dave gave me a priesthood blessing this week and one thing that he said was that I would be able to act with grace and composure to questions that might be painful or awkward. I will hold fast to that.

2011- Year in pictures

Every month I do digital scrapbooking, it is one hobby that I love and adore. At the of the year I get to publish all my pages into a Year in Review.

Shutterfly has changed some of their interface and makes scapbooking even more creative and fun. I just love it! However, I started 2011 with the old system and have decided not to re-do a year's worth of work. I have done a few books with, what is called "Custom Path." Again, I love it and can't wait to use Custom Path for our family's 2012 photo book.

I just ordered our 2011 book.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

Brothers like pudding

Better. . .

Each day is better, and today was great to just hang out with the family.

I find that the feeling I have more than any other is peace. I just feel that comfortable warmth that the spirit brings when something is right, and this is right. I know that that little boy was not meant to be ours. I still feel sad at times that we lost the opportunity to be his mom and dad and to have another son, brother and friend. Yet, I feel like that little boy does not belong with us. He is not ours. I am not sure why we couldn't have known this before we left for Texas, or even 3 months ago when we first met Caralee.

But the spirit has filled our home, it has been here to let us know that we are on the right path. I know it sounds odd, but even though the placement did not happen, I feel like we are one step closer to bringing a child home.

Where to start?

It has been a crazy week. Everything was going well and we were looking forward to a wonderful Christmas up until Thursday.

On Thursday we were visiting Caralee and the baby in the hospital. We were there for a couple of hours and we got to feed and change the baby. I thought we had a nice visit. My parents got to meet the baby and Caralee, so did Spencer. Our agency told us that they would both be released that evening and that we would be signing the papers after 9:03 PM. As we left we told her, "We'll see you tonight at the agency." She said, "We'll play it by ear."

I guess that is when I thought something might be wrong. Looking back now, I think she made up her mind on Thursday not to place her baby with us. Maybe she decided before that. I just don't know.

So, Thursday night came and we didn't hear anything. It was nerve wracking, because we were totally in the dark (we didn't know if she had been released from the hospital or not.) We actually did not get a call until after 10PM with an update. We did not know it at the time, but after Caralee and Nathan were released from the hospital she did not want to go to the agency to sign papers. She wanted to go home.

So, Caralee, Nathan and Jill (from the agency) all went to her apartment. After a few hours of talking, we got a call from Jill and Caralee. Caralee was in tears and said she needed more time. She said she knew this was the right thing to do, to place him with us, but it was just harder then she thought.

There was also another person at Caralee's apartment during all of this. A friend of Caralee's named Mary. Mary was there during the birth, Mary also received one of two matching bracelets at the hospital that connected her with the baby. (If you have the bracelet you can request information about the baby at the nurses' desk.) Caralee had one and she gave Mary the other. At dinner the night before Caralee told us she wanted us there at the birth, she said, "I think you should be there when your baby is born." But at the hospital she said it happened so fast there wasn't time to send for us. (We were there in the waiting room for 4 hours before the baby was born.)

Mary was very "cool" towards us and from her behavior I assume she did not approve of us (or Caralee placing for adoption.) She spent a lot of time at the hospital and I feel she played a part in how this all played out. I feel that Caralee made the decision herself, I do not think she was bullied or manipulated into making it. But I think the whole thing could have been handled much better on Caralee's part. If she was having doubts, she should have told us or at least told the agency if she didn't want to have that conversation with us. We never would have let Spencer see and baby and say, "This is your little brother."

There are so many ramifications to Spencer in all this. He is old enough to know what is happening and seeing the baby makes it much more difficult to explain. I believe she knew at the time we brought in Spencer (just a few hours before she was released) that she was not signing the papers.

At any rate, we finally got the call on Thursday night. It was short only a few minutes and it was hard. We were prepared for it, since (according to the plan) she should have already signed the papers. We told her on the phone that we supported her decision either way and really meant it. She is the only one who knows what is right for this baby. I would never, ever want her (or any birthmom) to sign the papers and have doubts if it is right or not.

We ended the short call with a request from Caralee to have lunch tomorrow with her and talk. It was a long restless night. We got a text from Caralee at 1 AM she told us:

"Hey there, sorry it's so late. I just been up thinking about alot of stuff. I hope you know you and Dave are both wonderful and ur family also. I couldn't have asked for more from a family to accept me and my son as part of their own. I hope I didn't scare y'all and didn't want any of you guys to go to bed thinking the worst. I couldn't get out what I wanted to tell ya. But I enjoyed sharing my stay at the hospital and birth with y'all and know my son will be safe and loved by each and everyone of you. I don't want u to think this is it and it's over. I'm looking forward to many more memories and time with y'all. It's not over I just need to grab ahold of my emotions. I'm bad about ignoring them sometimes till it's to late. And the way I got slam with the release it went bad. I'm looking forward to lunch with y'all and taking the step forward with you guys. Night and sorry to wake y'all up just wanted to tell ya that and clear some stuff up."

So Friday morning we sent a text to see what time she wanted to meet. She replied, "I just woke up, I will call you later." We never heard from her again.

Friday was a long day waiting for a phone call or a text. The agency tried to get in contact with Caralee all day and she wouldn't answer the phone or texts and was not at her apartment. It wasn't until 9:30 PM on Friday that Caralee sent a text the agency and told them, "I am not signing the papers now." Her message sounded like she thought it might be something she would consider later. She again said she "knew" it was right to place, but "felt" like she couldn't do it.

Shortly after we booked airfare home.

There are so many things going on in my head. I feel like Caralee made the right choice. If she felt at all like placing with us wasn't right, she shouldn't have done it. I just wish she would have been open about it. Waiting for a a day and half in the dark was just not fair to our family. Friday was especially awful. She was hiding from Jill and ignoring attempts to contact her. No one was trying to force her to sign papers. She just needed to let us know her decision. We could not move forward, we had nothing to tell Spencer and sitting at the edge of our seats waiting for any news was . . . tense.

My feelings are still tender. I feel sad. I feel a sense of loss. I feel numb. I feel annoyed. I feel that all things happen for a reason.

Off to the airport

It's Christmas morning, 6AM. Our van is packed and we are on our way to the airport.

Photos from Sea World

Photo by Spencer

Sea World

We promised Spencer we would go to Sea World and he has been looking forward to it. It is raining here, so it should be an adventure today at the park.

Still processing all these emotions. We are trying to have a special Christmas. Spencer and Jacob should feel the magic and wonder.

We told Spencer this morning that Luke was not going to be his little brother. He got very quiet and just crawled up on my lap to be held. I know the feeling.

We are heading home

It has been a long day and a half. To start with the most important thing, Caralee decided not to place her son with our family. She has decided to parent.

I have so many feeling about this. . . not sure where to start. So, let me just say this; we are heading home on Sunday Dec. 25 and trying to look forward.

I will try to write more later.

Friday Evening

We do not have any news to share. Neither us or our agency has been able to get in contact with Caralee (as of 7 PM.) She has not returned calls or texted. When the agency facilitator went to her home no one answered the door.

We hope to have more information later.

Waiting

This is Dave again. We had hoped to sign the adoption papers yesterday, but it did not work out. Caralee and the baby were released from the hospital yesterday evening. We don't have the whole story. All we know for sure is that Caralee has asked for some more time before deciding to sign the papers. We have had some brief phone calls and texts with her and she seems to be having a rough time. We have been in contact with our agency as well and we are all on standby. We are hoping to meet with Caralee this afternoon but no plans have been set. So, we wait and pray and hope for the best. We will post more when we learn more.

Playing games

Grandpa and Spencer playing electronic Yahtzee. Life is good.

Still waiting to hear what is happening with Luke tonight. As the evening goes on, it looks like we will get Luke tomorrow morning. (It is now 6 PM.) We haven't heard anything about being released tonight.

Thursday afternoon update

This is Dave. Karla is taking a nap with Jacob and she asked me to do a post today. We have had a great morning, as you can see from the iPhone photos below of Luke with various members of the family. We all went to the hospital today but we did not take Jacob inside the room because he has a little cough. Spencer, though, was thrilled to see Luke and Caralee. I think it's a rule that older siblings gravitate toward stroking their newborn siblings' heads, because I have seen that with nieces and nephews, and that was the first thing Spencer did. He is very excited to be the older brother of "baby Luke"; and then, I know this will come as a shock to anyone who has observed Spencer and Jacob recently, but Spencer did the comparisons: "Luke's feet are not as big as mine" and "my skin was soft like Luke's when I was a baby." He's doing pretty well, all things considered. Jacob has no clue at all what's happening, so he is doing well too. I think it will sink in with Jacob that The Lap of Mom will not always be available to him 24/7 as has heretofore been the case.

Luke is doing great. The docs have been checking his sugar levels because of his large birth weight but he's checked out normally. He has been spitting up a lot of formula though so they switched him to a soy-based formula this morning to see if it reduces the spit-up. We shall see. Karla and I have negative memories of that smelly soy formula from when Spencer was an infant; it disagreed with his system in more ways than one, if you take my meaning. So we'll see if it works for Luke. We brought some formula our pediatrician recommended, but we may be going with the soy if he seems to keep it down better than the traditional stuff. Karla fed him while we were there and he downed the whole 2 ounces in just a few minutes, punctuated by some helpful burps. Caralee has said he is active and doesn't settle down well but during the brief times we've seen him, he's been an angel.

The big news of the day is that we may be getting custody of Luke this evening instead of in the morning as we originally thought. He may be released from the hospital this afternoon, which means we would be able to sign the paperwork tonight. We'll be sure to post again when we know more. We're prepared either way, but it would be great to spend our first of Many Sleepless Nights with him tonight, if it works out. It might also shorten our trip slightly, but we want to have enough time here after the placement so that nobody feels rushed.

I think we're all just going to enjoy some down time until this evening (assuming he's out of the hospital as planned). We had talked about doing some sightseeing but everyone is resting instead. Tuesday night was very long for everyone. I went to bed at about 7 last night and slept for 12 hours, Jacob-style. But Karla didn't sleep well so I am hoping she gets some rest this afternoon so that we can begin the odyssey of the newborn with as much rest as possible.

Stay tuned, more to come!

Back to the hotel

Sleeping Jacob. Sleeping Grandma.

2 1/2 hour visit :)

Grandma & Luke

Spencer meets Luke

Wednesday Evening

It is hard to believe that 24 hour ago we were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. Wow.

Well, we got to see Luke today, he already has changed over just one day. He is strong and content. Wendy asked a couple of questions so I thought I would reply here in case anyone else was curious.

How often do you get to see him?

On the day he was born we were able to spend about 45 min. with him. We got to see Caralee for longer, but the baby wasn't there the whole time. It was after 1 AM, so we thought it was best if we all got some sleep. So, off we went. We asked her if could come visit today. We texted this morning and she said 11:30 was good for her. So we visited from 11:30-1:30PM, but Luke was with the Dr. waiting for an exam during that time. We ended up leaving after 2 hours but then right when we left Caralee texted us and said they just brought the baby back. So we drove right back and had about 30 min, before he was whisked off again to finally meet with the Dr who had been called off on an emergency. We will get to see him again tomorrow. I think we will take the whole family. We will text in the morning and see how Caralee is feeling.

When will Luke be discharged?

Luke will be in the hospital for a minimum of 48 hours. But it is most likely he will be discharged on Friday (Dec. 23) in the morning. They want to keep an eye on some things. Nothing major, just a couple of little things.

When does Caralee sign papers?

According to Texas law, birthmoms must wait a minimum of 48 hours before they can relinquished custody. Right now it looks like Caralee and Luke will leave the hospital together at the same time of Friday morning. They will go directly to the adoption agency and that is where Caralee will sign the papers. Then we will also be at the agency and we will sign papers too. Then we take custody of Luke. He will be ours and after 30 days one of us will fly back to San Antonio and finalize the adoption. The judge will waive the 6 month waiting period and we will consummate the adoption. Done.

Have the boys seen him yet?

Of course we have shown them pictures :) But they have not seen him in person yet. We plan on it tomorrow morning. However, Jacob has a slightly runny nose and will not be going in. Someone will stay with him in the waiting room and the rest of us will see the little tike.

We are really enjoying this time. Family is just an amazing thing to experaince.

Just got to spend 30 min. With Luke

1 day old

As sweet as can be.

Wednesday

Here it is 7:40AM and Jacob is up and at 'em. I was already awake laying in bed thinking about what an amazing night it was. And even though we got to bed around 1:30AM it was so easy to get up with smiling, cooing Jacob. I am just overwhelmed with the feeling that he and his brothers are amazing blessings.

Well, here are the details on the birth:

Date and time: Dec.20, 2011, 9:03PM
Weight: 9 lbs. 6 oz,
Length: 21 1/4 inches
Head: 13 7/8
Chest: 14 1/4

Our timeline was pretty good. We got to the hospital at 5:05PM. As the evening wore on we got text from Caralee, then at 8:47PM she said things were going fast and she was ready to push. We heard the lulluby being played at 9:17 PM. I had a feeling it was our baby. Then at 9:41 PM, we got a text with a picture of Caralee and the baby!!! Tears, happiness, joy!

About 11:15 we got to go to the nursery and look through the glass. There were about 10 babies in there and we couldn't tell which one was Luke. We saw a little boy with lots of hair and thought he could be it. There was a family there before us and asked how much our baby weighed. We said "9.6" the reply was "I think they just brought him over here, we were calling him baby Hercules."

At 11:40 PM we were able to go in and see Caralee in her room, she was lovely. Her room was so nice, very large, flat screen TV and a sofa that pulls out into a twin bed. This facility is new and it has all the bells and whistles. She looked good and was joking around. Totally smiling from ear to ear. Luke was in the nursery and they were going to bring him in "any minute."

An hour later Caralee called the nurse and asked if they were bringing him in. About 2 minutes later, the nurse wheels in the bassinet with Luke. I almost burst into tears, but I keep it together. At 12:40 AM I saw him for the first time.

He was BIG. I kept thinking, I am glad I have more 0-3 month outfits then new born, he might not fit them. Little chubby arms and legs, double chin. . . all baby and happiness.

We both got to hold and feed Luke. He had his eyes open part of the time and looked like he had a full day's work behind him (indeed he did.) Because he was delivered so fast he has some bruising on his face, and his left eye is a little swollen. He looked so content and peaceful. Caralee said he had a "cute cry," which we are happy to hear. . . one ear piercing crier in the family is enough. (We love you Jacob.)

When we were talking with Caralee, she asked us if we would consider naming him Nathan, to honor her grandpa. We said we would love to give him Nathan as middle name.

With Dad

12:40AM

11:43 PM

Luke was born about 2 hours ago.

We are still in the waiting room. As we approach the midnight hour I hope we can see him on his birthday.

I have moved from a knot in my stomach, to tense but excited, to total relief. . . Now, I am feeling all the energy drain from my body. I will sleep well tonight, after I see my son :)

Sent from my iPhone

Welcome Luke!

9.6 pounds

Lullaby

As we sit here in the waiting room, we have heard a little lullaby play every now and then. It sounds like a music box, playing "lullaby and good night."

We have been told that every time a baby is born they play the music. At 9:17 PM we heard the music. . . Could it be Luke?

Holding my breath and holding my tears back. Wow, this is intense.

Sent from my iPhone

8:56 PM

Still in the waiting room. Just got a text from Caralee. She said:

Everything went so fast, getting ready to push.

Excited silence fills the waiting room as we wait to hear more.

Sent from my iPhone

8:33PM

Caralee is at a 5. The Dr. broke her water and she is on pitocin.

Just waiting :) It is a little cold in the waiting room. Wish I had a hot drink, Dave looked for some cider for me . . . no luck.

8:43PM still waiting :)

Sent from my iPhone

Birth Day

Well, it is 6:45 PM. We arrived at the hospital to 5:05 PM. We are in the waiting room. Caralee is with her friend (who also happens to be an RN) in labor and delivery.

When she gets closer to delivery, she may invite us to be with her.

We are just so excited. I am getting emotional and teary thinking about Luke's arrival into the world. Just thinking he is with Heavenly Father right now, so excited that his time to come to earth is here.

We will see you soon sweetheart.

Grandma is at the hotel will with the boys. So thankful she can do this for us. I wouldn't have want to miss being here.

Sent from my iPhone

Loving some dad time

Quilt

Baby gift

My aunt Betty made this quilt for Luke. It is so adorable!

Dinner at Alamo Cafe

We had a great day. Dave did some grocery shopping, we got our larger room and last, but not least. . . we had a 3 hour dinner with Caralee.

The day started out rainy and humid. My hair is totally crazy to prove it. (See above photo.) Because the weather wasn't very good we bagged the plans to go to the park with Caralee and her daughter. So, most of the day was spent just hanging out at the hotel room. After lunch Dave got some groceries and I stayed here with the boys and Jacob napped.

Then off to the airport to pick up my mom. Dave and Spencer went and I stayed home with Jacob. It was so good to see my mom and having her here is just wonderful. My mom wasn't here for more then an hour and then off Dave and I went to dinner with Caralee.

She chose a great Tex-Mex restaurant, The Alamo Cafe. We all had some yummy food, the seasonings were really good. We ended up staying for 3 hours. It was so great, we got to chat about our life and find out even more about her. For instance, I found out she was as dancer. She has been trained as an accountant, so it was cool to hear about her Ball Room dance experaince. She was just so sweet, sincere and forthright.

We are going to get some pictures of all the kids next week at JC Penny (my go-to kiddie portrait place :)) We will get some of Luke and Hailey (her daughter) and also of all the boys too. I am really excited to get some photos. You can never have too many pictures.

It was wonderful to feel like we all clicked and are on the same page. Because I have had most of the phone conversations with Caralee, this was the longest and most in-dept that Dave has talked with her. It is so nice to know her and we will be able to tell Luke about her. She is really great, we couldn't have a better birthmom.

We are having brunch tomorrow with Caralee and Hailey (the boys and my mom too.) I am so glad she would spent her morning with us before the birth. She is pretty excited. . . I might be too :)

Here is the first photo we saw of Caralee, she sent this to us back in Sept. after she chose our family. Just a lovely person, inside and out.

I'm just sayin'

Playland 2

Playland

McDonald's playland. A must for little boys with lots of energy on a rainy day.

We got our 2 bedroom suite. It has much more space. Glad to get that squared away.

My mom will be here in a couple of hours. It will be good to see her :)

Reading 2

The boys have been pretty good at sharing. Even though there are books and toys enough for all, it seems they both always want the same thing.

Well, it is hard to believe Luke will be born tomorrow. After 3 months of waiting and wondering, we are finally here :)

Reading

Sunday

Ahh Sunday night. . . we made it to 6:30 PM! We were all kind of dragging today. I am happy to report Jacob is in bed and snoozing away. Spencer is working on tracing some shapes and all is right with the world.

So, our day started at 5:25AM when Jacob decided he was done sleeping. I took an hour with him and then at 6:45 AM Dave took a turn with him. Jacob fell back to sleep and then slept until about 9:30 AM. So, we missed church this morning. (Local church starts at 9AM.) But it was totally worth it to sleep a little longer since we didn't get to bed until 11:30PM.

As luck would have it the continental breakfast goes until 10:30 AM on the weekend, so we were able to get a hot breakfast this morning. Then off to the store to pick up a few items (hand sanitizer, bassinet, paper towels. . .etc.) We were able to pick up a few things on the list. . . then back to the rental car place at the airport.

We got a 7 passenger SUV, Chevy Traverse. There was something wrong with it. It was fine at Hertz, but as soon as we went over 50 miles and hour the whole car would shake. The boys loved it! They were in the back seat saying "AHHHHH" and it sounded like "Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah" because the vibration was so bad.

We all drove back to Hertz to get a new car, they were out of SUVs so we got "upgraded" to a mini-van. The mini-van certainly has more space, but it looks like this van has had one too many road trips, if you know what I mean. At least it gets us from A to B. All our stuff and car seats fit well. I will just ignore the paint chips and scratched up interior. I am pretty sure my next car will not be a Kia.

We also had a "mix up" with our hotel reservation. When we arrived they did not have our reservation. We had reserved a 2 bedroom, 2 bath (4 beds) suite. They did not have any. So we got a 1-room suite. It is a little squashy but they said a 2-bedroom suite will be available tomorrow. So just 2 nights in the smaller room, they are charging us the same rate though. . . I might have to send a strongly worded memo about it. I was quite annoyed at 11PM after a long flight, cranky boys, vibrating car and punk desk clerk. . .

However. . . it all was worth it this afternoon. We finally got to meet Caralee in person.

We were suppose to meet at 2PM and after our rental switch and lunch we were running a little late. But, at about 1PM we got a text from Caralee, she said she was running late too. . . thank goodness it gave us a little more time.

We are only about 20 min. from the adoption agency, it is nice being close. Just as we were getting the boys out of their car seats in the parking lot, Caralee pulls up. She had a huge smile and confident air. She doesn't look 9 months pregnant, and kind of smiled and laughed about how she doesn't get "really big." We all went inside and and had a great chat with two of our agency facilitators and Caralee.

It was great to meet in person. Caralee is just like on the phone; genuine, friendly, sweet and easy to laugh. She was very kind to Spencer and showed him a fun game on her iPhone (Art of Glow). Spencer just loved it. I immediately downloaded it to my phone. . . it is great to have fun apps/games for the kids. Spencer is actually playing the game now. She also was so sweet with Jacob. Jacob found her purse, on the floor, and started to go through it. (If it were my purse I would move it up.) Caralee just smiled and let him pull things out and explore it. She is just so laid back and really sweet. I am just amazed at how easy she is to like, so friendly and genuine.

We were able to chat for about 90 minutes. Tomorrow, if the weather is good, we will meet Caralee at a park/playground so the kids can play and we can chat again. (I love Texas winters.) Then we plan to have dinner in the evening, my mom will be here to watch the kids. I am sure we can find some yummy restaurant to eat at.

So. . . a wonderful 24-hours to start off our trip! I will try to post some photos tomorrow.

Sunday

10:30 AM

A long night . . . Jacob only slept until 5:30AM. But both the boys seem happy this morning.

We see Caralee at 2PM.

Stuff

9:20 PM

Dave and Spencer are just off to take the bus to get our rental car. I am waiting at the terminal with all the stuff. I am glad we got the 7 passenger SUV. I can only image the flight home as a family of 5.

Thank Heaven for direct flights. The good news is we are only about 20 min from the hotel.

Way past bedtime

It is way past the boys' bed time and yet looking out the window (into complete darkness) is too fun to pass up.

Spencer was pretty good but Jacob had a few "moments". Not good moments and some screaming might have been involved.

Aunt Tiff

Always fun to see Tiff at the airport :)

Airport

Our flight leaves in 90 min. and we made it to the airport without any traffic. We spent about 10 min getting through security. We found a nice little playground and the boys will hopefully get out some wiggles.

Here . . . We. . Go!

The bags are packed and loaded. The boys are ready with fruit snacks and books.

San Antonio, here we come.

4 days to go!

Last night we heard from Caralee. They have decided to induce her on Tuesday, December 20th. She sounded pretty weary and tired, so I am glad that they could move the date up. Of course I am so excited to meet our son and have him join our family, so moving the date up from Dec. 22 is great!

We still leave for Texas tomorrow. I did not sleep well last night, I am so focused on the whole thing. I feel tense with all the travel plans and arrangements. I don't want to forget anything. I feel so excited and happy to add a son and see Luke's face for the first time. I also have a sadness and ache for Carlee knowing how this process has/will impacted her. We were never part of Spencer's or Jacob's birthmom's placement process. We only were matched with them after they were relinquished. It is quite emotional to think about all that Caralee is going through. And all that Spencer's and Jacob's birthmoms experienced.

I should be packing/cleaning/making lists. . . but instead I am here blogging. Trying to get some of my stress out by writing. The boys are both about 12 inches away from me. . . what Dave and I like to call "The 6-inch radius."I love having them close, pretty soon another baby will change that dynamic. I can't help but wonder how it will all be a week from now.

So, this is what our schedule looks like. We arrive in Texas Saturday Dec. 17 at 9 PM. Then we meet Caralee for the first time, in person, on Sunday afternoon. She will be induced Tuesday, Dec. 20 at 5PM. Then after the baby is born there is a 48 hour wait period before Caralee can relinquish. So, I am assuming sometime on Friday Dec. 23 we will take custody of Luke and bring him home (to the hotel.) We then will stay in San Antonio while we wait for the paper work to be completed. Our agency told us it should be completed by Jan. 4 (about 2 weeks) and we fly home Jan. 5.

If the paperwork is not complete by Jan. 5 one of us will stay in Texas with Luke and the other one will fly back to Utah with Spence and Jacob on the 5th. Because the adoption will take place over the holidays there might be delays.

My mom planned on coming to San Antonio the day before the birth, so she just rebooked her ticket and will coming to Texas on Dec. 19. She will be with the boys while Dave and I are at the hospital. It will be so good to have her there. It will be a special treat for Jacob & Spencer to get some one-on-one time with Grandma and Dave & I can focus on Caralee & Luke knowing the boys are in good hands. My dad is also coming out, he will arrive on Dec. 21. So it will be Christmas none of us will forget.

This is such an exciting time! So, I better get back to taking down the tree and Christmas decorations, packing lists and happy boys :)

My goal is to post everyday while we are in Texas. So starting tomorrow there will be a flurry of posts. I may not get a chance to always update link to the "Updates" blog for Google Reader. . . just so you know.

4 days to go!

Birthday :)

I had a wonderful birthday with some sweet notes on Facebook, emails, phone calls and an amazing gift from my husband. Dave brought home a bouquet of red and white flowers and this amazing charm bracelet. . . I am in love with the man and the bracelet:) Turning 39 has some great perks.

The bracelet has charms that remind me of my children and about their birth. It also has the birthstones of my three sons. It is just perfect and sentimental and I plan to wear it everyday.

Santa

Spencer was not a fan. He did not want to see Santa, but he humored me. You can see how excited he looks. Poor Jacob missed out, home with a runny nose and his dad watching the presidential debate tonight.

Friday news roundup

With 12 days to go, you can imagine what a week we have had. I tried to post some photos this week to give you some highlights.

This week was my last week of school. So, of course I was inundated with last minute pleas for extra credit papers that would count for half their grade and the oldie, but goodie "my computer ate my paper." But today is all well, final grades are posted and my students did pretty well. I have the next month off :) That will certainly come in handy with the baby.

Speaking of Luke. . . Caralee went to the hospital on Wednesday. She was having trouble breathing and of course I was anxious, but her text told me "don't freak". . . she is so great :) Here she is in the hospital and she is calming me. As it turns out, the baby is fine and she is "fine." They could not isolate the problem and sent her home. She is resting, although she said that resting really isn't helping too much.

We have our shopping lists and packing lists. . . we are prepared to go if we need to leave before our scheduled flight. If not, we are prepared to go on Saturday Dec. 17... as in 7 days away! My head is just swimming with details and excitement. I have birth announcements picked out. We are set for baby clothes and gear.

So, our last week here at home without a newborn baby, it is kind of surreal.

This week we also had our Sisters Baking Extravaganza. It was fun, the plates looked so lovely and we had so much fun. We delivered all our plates, but one. We have the three-strikes rule here. We tired to deliver the plate 3 times over 2 days. . . if no one is home. . . well, let's just say we don't mind sampling the goods :). . .the poor Fifes don't know what they are missing

Well, I will be posting again soon.

Tick-toc. . .

Tissues

Someone left the tissue box down, and someone found it.

Goodie plates . . . 6 hours later

Lunch break

Sister holiday baking. . . With little helpers

Getting ready for baby