Library of Adventure: August 2013

It started as a hard week for me, but has ended on a good note.

My dear neighbor and best friend let me know this week, that her husband has a great job opportunity out of state. They feel moving is the best choice for their family. Although I am so happy their family will have a new adventure and they know this is the right thing for them, I am overwhelmed with sadness in anticipating the loss. I am going to miss her. A lot. She has always been there for me (and our family) for the last 7 years. I have been in tears off and on all week.

I am also feeling sad about my dad. He has had some serious health issues (but not life threatening). This has been a hard thing for both my mom and dad to deal with. I hate to see them struggle and deal with uncertainties. However, even with the health challenges ahead for them, at least they are moving closer.

Thursday they closed on their home in Denver and today are driving to Utah. Their new home will not be done for a couple of weeks. They will be staying with my sister in Lehi until their home in complete. Their new home is just lovely. It is their dream home and it is only 15 minutes away from our house. Having grandparents just minutes away is going to be great! How blessed are my kids? Both sets of grandparents less then an hour away.

I did get some more disappointing news this week. I heard back from Deseret Book about my manuscript. I got the "thanks, but no thanks" form letter. Kind of bummed to get a rejection letter. I handled it with some retail therapy. I went to Home Depot and bought $100 worth of cedar bark mulch for the large flower bed in the backyard. It felt good to weed and mulch the bed, it was in sore need. Nothing like a little manual labor and time to think about big picture. There is still one more publisher I submitted to and if I they "thanks, but no thanks" me, I can always self-publish. Take that you publishers, you!

There was also some adoption stress this week. On Monday our agency had the monthly "file release night," this is when they ask you to wait by the phone that evening, in case they might call you with a match. This is our second "file release night." Frankly, it is stressful. You are anticipating it all day and just waiting to see if you will finally see your daughter's face. Just waiting and watching the clock, wondering if the phone will ring. It is kind of crazy, it reminds me of when Dave and I were first married and every month waiting to see if we were going to have a baby. It wears you down.

As you can guess, we did not get a match this month. No matter how I try to mentally prepare myself, it is still disappointing. I go back and forth between feeling sad and encouraged. Sad, for obvious reasons. But encouraged to know we are getting closer to bringing home our daughter. I have been through this process so many times I know the Lord's hand is guiding every single moment. Without a doubt this path is inspired.

Speaking of being inspired, I have more news to share on the adoption front. As you know about 3 years ago we found out about the Japan adoption program offered by Faith International Adoptions. For the first year we contacted them every few months to see if they were accepting new families. Finally two years ago we got the call that they were opening the program to new families. We had just come home with Jacob and were in the middle of the Caralee situation. Even with all the changes and potential domestic placement, we felt that starting the Japan program was the right choice for our family. We pulled the trigger, paid the first set of fees and were off.

After about 18 months in the Japan program it seemed nothing was happening. We have had three international adoptions where things shut down (China non-special needs, Kazakhstan and Nepal). As a matter of fact if we had stayed in China non-special needs we still would waiting for a referral, six years later. We had seen countries close or have the process be so slow it will literally take years (or decades) to get a placement. So, we started to look at other options.

So, we were happily on the path of a second China special needs adoption. We just shrugged our shoulders at Japan and thought C'est la vie.

In May we got a call from Faith reminding us that we needed to get re-fingerprinted and apply for an extension for our I-600. I kind of rolled my eyes and thought, "Yeah right, the first of our 5 extensions? No thank you." But I was super polite on the phone and asked how the program was going. Her answer shocked me. Our coordinator told us were were #10 on the wait list and things were going pretty good. WHAT!? We are #10? How can that be, the last time we checked we were around # 25 and they were doing about one placement a month or one placement every 2 months. Total shock. She added that she thought we would have a placement by the end of the year. How do you go from #25 to #10 in just a few months with so few placements? All I can think is that many peolpe left the program.

Dave and I tried to wrap our head around the news. Could we do both? Should we do both programs? We have always done concurrent adoptions, sometimes we have had 3 adoptions "going" at once. (Hence we have had three adoptions and five failed adoptions.) Could we afford to do both? Could we bring home a newborn and a toddler within months of each other? Lots to think about.

We spent time praying and contemplating what was right for our family and really searching out in our hearts the plan the Lord has for our family. Dave and I both felt inspired to adopt from Japan, the feeling has not changed. We also feel there is a little girl in China who is meant to be our daughter. There is only one choice. Come what may and love it.

Since May we have gotten our fingerprints retaken, updated our homestudy and submitted an extension request for a visa for our little one from Japan. This week we just found out we are #5 on the wait list. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Five.

I had not wanted to let myself hope it would happen. I have been down that path and it is heartbreaking to start imagining a life with child that does not come home. But now that we are # 5 and all our paper work is in order, it seems like it will really happen.

So, it has been an emotional week. Lots of ups and downs.