This is our first outing as a family of seven. So glad we got the mini van when we only had Spencer.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Headed Out
[Dave again.] Unless you count the screenshots Karla took through Skype, the only pictures I've gotten of Zoe have been while she's been asleep. The picture above was supposed to be a pose of her kind of smiling and staring at the ceiling, but by the time I got my camera she'd turned her head and closed her eyes. Go figure. I guess if I were really motivated I would have posed her a few times, maybe outside Tokyo Tower (we walked by yesterday on our way to the clinic). But when you send the dad and leave the mom at home, you know you're going to get a substandard product when it comes to baby photos. I could lie and say that if we were staying longer, I'd have more time to get better photos. But there would probably just be another half-dozen of the little peanut snoozing, because when she's awake I'm too harried to think much about photos.
Tomorrow we head home! The embassy here tells adoptive families it can take up to five working days to issue the visa, so we had been scheduled to leave Saturday morning. But when we dropped off the medical records today, the consular officer said, "take a seat and we should have her visa in a few minutes." So, half an hour later we got the visa and were on our way. Then I had to call Delta and see what kind of craziness they would charge to rebook us. Amazingly, they came back with a very reasonable number. So we're off. 9.5 hours to Seattle, four hours to get through immigration and make our connecting flight, then 90 minutes to home. ~36 hours from now we'll be home! In time to celebrate Spencer's birthday.
I'm very excited to get home, have Zoe meet the family and see everyone again. But I'm also a little sad to be leaving Japan so quickly. I've just barely scratched the surface of this place; there is so much to see and do. At least in China and Vietnam, we spent so much time in the country (even if we didn't do much tourism) that we got a good feeling for the place. Here I feel like I mainly got to know about three blocks of town. We'll come back when Zoe is older and experience it properly. Karla laughed a bit at my proposed "four countries in three weeks" family vacation plan when all the kids are teenagers. I think we can't skimp; it'll have to be multiple trips. We'll have to spend lots of time in Vietnam, in two different regions of China, in Japan, and Hawaii. To paraphrase Tevye, I feel the heritage of our children being from such beautiful places is a curse from which we'll never recover. Now if we can just figure out to pay for all those vacations...
Monday, June 23, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
First Night with Zoe
Dave here, reporting from Japan. Zoe had a good first night. The adoption folks left around 3pm and Zoe and I spent a bit of the afternoon talking with Karla over Skype. Then it was on to the first feeding: How would it go? Would she reject this crazy American formula? Spit-ups and tummy troubles? (Visions of Spencer in Saigon, 2008...) No worries. She took 5 oz and gave me a nice burp. I thought I might put her down for a rest after the feeding because she had very heavy eyes, but little sister had other ideas. She did not like being put down. So we walked around the hotel room for a bit to settle her, and then I had her on my lap for a good long while. The nanny who has been caring for her mentioned, all casual-like, that I should put her down every once in a while because she might become habituated to being held all the time.
Clearly, I've been set up.
I did manage to prop her on a pillow for a few minutes while I bolted down a room service club sandwich, but by the time I'd tucked away the last bite she was letting me know that I'd best get back to her. We did a little tummy time and walked around but she was clearly not yet in full approval of Dad's way of doing things. Just when I was starting to wonder if I'd have to go through the entire trip one-handed, she calmed down and I was able to get another bottle (5.5 oz) into her. After that, about ten minutes of mild protests and she dropped off. Like a rock! She didn't stir at all between 8:30pm and 3:30am. I am crossing my fingers that this isn't an anomaly. Her nanny said she could go six or seven hours at night without a feeding. That would be wonderful! We'll see how it goes in the coming days. She took another bottle at 4am and has been napping for about thirty minutes. We'll see whether the formula agrees with her as it goes all the way through her system but so far, so good.
The lead-up to the gotcha was pretty smooth. I had a good flight over; no delays or problems on the flight, not a lot of traffic into the city from Narita. (Note to self: Delta "Economy Plus" seating on transoceanic flights is totally worth it.) We're staying downtown, overlooking some government buildings and some parks. It's a quiet part of town. There's a 7-Eleven and a train station in the basement of the hotel. Which is nice because it's been raining a lot and I don't want to take her out in the weather.
Today we head to the embassy for the visa interview and then to a clinic for the required medical exam. The visa will be ready sometime between Tuesday and Friday. If we're really lucky, we can get it early, and Delta won't be charging an arm and a leg to change our reservation. Otherwise we'll be here until Saturday. Lately, the prices for an earlier flight out have ranged between "unreasonably high" and "incredibly, ridiculously unreasonably high." So I don't feel too optimistic, but you never know.
More to come...
Meeting Zoe
We finally meet Zoe. Dave went down to the lobby and came back with Taka, Zoe and her nanny. For the next 20 minutes the nanny was giving Dave instructions on Zoe. How much she eats and when. What her routine is and what she likes and doesn't like. I was just in bliss mode watching our little girl kick her legs and wave her arms.
When everyone left Dave and I got to chat for a few more minutes, by this time it was about midnight for me. I was fading with the end of a long and eventful day. Also imaging the kids up and at 'em at the crack of dawn made me feel little more tired.
I was off to bed and asleep before 1AM with visions of Zoe dancing in my head. The kids woke up a little before 7AM and I checked my email and got this note from Dave:
Zoe update- 3 hours in
Snoozing now. She took 5 oz at 3:45PM... took about 25 minutes to drink it. I was grateful she took the similac without any complaints (at least going down). I warmed the water in the kettle. I think over time we'll try and wean her down from "warm milk HOT" to "warm milk" to room temperature but now is not the time.
When everyone left Dave and I got to chat for a few more minutes, by this time it was about midnight for me. I was fading with the end of a long and eventful day. Also imaging the kids up and at 'em at the crack of dawn made me feel little more tired.
I was off to bed and asleep before 1AM with visions of Zoe dancing in my head. The kids woke up a little before 7AM and I checked my email and got this note from Dave:
Zoe update- 3 hours in
Snoozing now. She took 5 oz at 3:45PM... took about 25 minutes to drink it. I was grateful she took the similac without any complaints (at least going down). I warmed the water in the kettle. I think over time we'll try and wean her down from "warm milk HOT" to "warm milk" to room temperature but now is not the time.
She got a bit unhappy while we were waiting for the
bottle to cool. I think she was really hungry. I got her to settle down
by marching around the hotel room. (That old trick has worked for every
baby so far; it's hard on the arms and back but it's nice that she seems
to go for it too.) Naturally she protested when I tried to sit down.
After her meal she took a little time to settle in
so I laid her down with me until her eyes closed and then put her on her
own bed. She's been sleeping for about 10 minutes now on her own. I
hope she sleeps for an hour or two. Then she should be content until 8
when I'll try another bottle. Then hopefully I can top her off at 11 or
so and see if she'll make it until 5 or 6 am. We'll see how it goes.
I forgot how much fun an infant is. This is going to be tiring and crazy but also a lot of fun. :)
More to come...
Saturday, June 21, 2014
So excited!
I am Skyping in on Zoe's arrival! I will try and take some screen shots. Dave has me set up on the laptop and I have a great view. It is now 2PM and Dave is headed down to the lobby to wait for Taka. The next time I see Dave, he will have Zoe.
Fruitcakes and Zoe
Let's start this story with fruitcakes. . . of the housing market variety.
So, on Sunday (Father's day) we got a call from our real estate agent telling us the buyers wanted to close the last week in June, instead of July 25. We were thinking, "Wow, that would be great." They wanted us to get our power of attorney in order because Dave would be in Japan. So we get it all squared away and on Thursday night. . . 12 hours before Dave is suppose to depart they say, "We want to close tomorrow." What? Okay, Let's get this done.
So Thursday night we are scrambling to get the last of the paperwork for the banks squared away and Dave is packing. The whole thing was a whirl wind. So Friday I am out in the morning getting the last of the items from the house (mail keys, garage door openers. . . etc.) Then drop off the kids at my mom's house to be at the title company for a 12 noon closing.
Literary 15 minutes before we are suppose to sign. . .as in 11:45AM. The buyer's agent (who is also their father) is trying to make changes to the closing documents and sent my agent an email listing the changes. It was beyond weird. I am literally sitting at the conference table stunned at what is happening. What in the world is going on here? My agent is fuming that the buyer is trying to change the deal at the last minute. So the title company person calls the other agent to try and see what is happening. She called while we were in the room. I could hear his voice on the other line. There was shouting, using colorful language and I heard him say. "Tell them that they can sign right now or they can walk!"
So Regina (our agent) and I said, okay I guess we are leaving. We went out to the parking lot and talked out what just happened. We had some time to digest it, I was able to call Dave (at the Portland Airport) and finally decided that we could live with some of the changes he wanted, but the paperwork could not be submitted as he proposed. It did not meet legal standards. Anyway, there would be no closing on Friday for sure.
At the end of the day I was just annoyed that my entire day was sucked up by this stunt. I believe he never had any intention of closing. I think he pulled this stunt to try and manipulate the situation and try to get some type of advantage.
So, that night the other agent called Regina and apologized for losing his temper and the "confusion". He then proposed another deal. . . totally different then what he was asking for 6 hours earlier. He wanted a new name listed at the buyer, they wanted to change the financing, they wanted yet another closing date, they wanted to change the purchase price and have us kick in for closing. . . . Totally different. . . again.
I'm thinking is this guy even serious? Should we just cut bate? I mean honestly, he has now proposed 4 different closing dates, 3 different sale prices and other concessions. It has been two weeks.
At any rate Dave and I talked it over and the basics of the deal are the same, we get our asking price in the end and a closing date on or before when we originally agreed. We said we would move forward with this. All these other scare tactics, grand standing, shouting and creative accounting is just so unprofessional.
Then tonight our agent gets an email and text for Mr. Fruitcake. He said we need to do something about something they found in the home inspection. What? Okay pickles, here's the deal. Your due diligence has passed. . .PASSED. The time for nit picking about squeaky doors is passed. You had your chance. Our agent said she just texted him back. "Due diligence has passed." No reply.
I have no idea if this whole deal is going to fall apart or if Mr. Fruitcake took the "there's no harm in asking" approach. Anyway they have until Thursday, June 26 to pull out and get their earnest money back (however, they do not seem very earnest to me.)
We don't negotiate with terrorist (said in a W. accent). This is just getting ridiculous.
However, I will not allow this to cast a pall over Dave's trip to Japan and Zoe joining our family!
=========================================
Dave left for Japan on Friday morning. It was so fun to drive him to the airport, even if it meant getting up at 6AM.
His flight was pretty uneventful, although we had contact throughout the day talking about Mr. Fruitcake. He flew from SLC to Portland and then to Tokyo. So, no crazy layovers or weird connections. He called me at 4AM Saturday morning (7PM Saturday night in Japan.) It felt so good to chat and envision the next day with Zoe in his arms. Then we both went back to bed and I had "Clean the house day" and the kids were asking every hour or two what time is it in Japan?
I downloaded the app on my phone so I can look any time. :)
We finally got to skype and talk in the afternoon (Sunday morning for him.) The kids were all over the chair and desk and Luke was completely taken in by the whole experience. It was fun to see the kids maul their dad virtually. Dave looked good and the hotel seemed nice. He sent me some photos:
He is on the 24th floor and it was about 1 hour and 45 minutes from the airport. He went to the 7-11 in the basement and stocked up on Ramen, bottled water and some snacks. Now he waits. As I type this it is 12:37PM in Tokyo. In less then 2 hours Dave will have Zoe in his arms!
So, on Sunday (Father's day) we got a call from our real estate agent telling us the buyers wanted to close the last week in June, instead of July 25. We were thinking, "Wow, that would be great." They wanted us to get our power of attorney in order because Dave would be in Japan. So we get it all squared away and on Thursday night. . . 12 hours before Dave is suppose to depart they say, "We want to close tomorrow." What? Okay, Let's get this done.
So Thursday night we are scrambling to get the last of the paperwork for the banks squared away and Dave is packing. The whole thing was a whirl wind. So Friday I am out in the morning getting the last of the items from the house (mail keys, garage door openers. . . etc.) Then drop off the kids at my mom's house to be at the title company for a 12 noon closing.
Literary 15 minutes before we are suppose to sign. . .as in 11:45AM. The buyer's agent (who is also their father) is trying to make changes to the closing documents and sent my agent an email listing the changes. It was beyond weird. I am literally sitting at the conference table stunned at what is happening. What in the world is going on here? My agent is fuming that the buyer is trying to change the deal at the last minute. So the title company person calls the other agent to try and see what is happening. She called while we were in the room. I could hear his voice on the other line. There was shouting, using colorful language and I heard him say. "Tell them that they can sign right now or they can walk!"
So Regina (our agent) and I said, okay I guess we are leaving. We went out to the parking lot and talked out what just happened. We had some time to digest it, I was able to call Dave (at the Portland Airport) and finally decided that we could live with some of the changes he wanted, but the paperwork could not be submitted as he proposed. It did not meet legal standards. Anyway, there would be no closing on Friday for sure.
At the end of the day I was just annoyed that my entire day was sucked up by this stunt. I believe he never had any intention of closing. I think he pulled this stunt to try and manipulate the situation and try to get some type of advantage.
So, that night the other agent called Regina and apologized for losing his temper and the "confusion". He then proposed another deal. . . totally different then what he was asking for 6 hours earlier. He wanted a new name listed at the buyer, they wanted to change the financing, they wanted yet another closing date, they wanted to change the purchase price and have us kick in for closing. . . . Totally different. . . again.
I'm thinking is this guy even serious? Should we just cut bate? I mean honestly, he has now proposed 4 different closing dates, 3 different sale prices and other concessions. It has been two weeks.
At any rate Dave and I talked it over and the basics of the deal are the same, we get our asking price in the end and a closing date on or before when we originally agreed. We said we would move forward with this. All these other scare tactics, grand standing, shouting and creative accounting is just so unprofessional.
Then tonight our agent gets an email and text for Mr. Fruitcake. He said we need to do something about something they found in the home inspection. What? Okay pickles, here's the deal. Your due diligence has passed. . .PASSED. The time for nit picking about squeaky doors is passed. You had your chance. Our agent said she just texted him back. "Due diligence has passed." No reply.
I have no idea if this whole deal is going to fall apart or if Mr. Fruitcake took the "there's no harm in asking" approach. Anyway they have until Thursday, June 26 to pull out and get their earnest money back (however, they do not seem very earnest to me.)
We don't negotiate with terrorist (said in a W. accent). This is just getting ridiculous.
However, I will not allow this to cast a pall over Dave's trip to Japan and Zoe joining our family!
=========================================
Dave left for Japan on Friday morning. It was so fun to drive him to the airport, even if it meant getting up at 6AM.
His flight was pretty uneventful, although we had contact throughout the day talking about Mr. Fruitcake. He flew from SLC to Portland and then to Tokyo. So, no crazy layovers or weird connections. He called me at 4AM Saturday morning (7PM Saturday night in Japan.) It felt so good to chat and envision the next day with Zoe in his arms. Then we both went back to bed and I had "Clean the house day" and the kids were asking every hour or two what time is it in Japan?
I downloaded the app on my phone so I can look any time. :)
We finally got to skype and talk in the afternoon (Sunday morning for him.) The kids were all over the chair and desk and Luke was completely taken in by the whole experience. It was fun to see the kids maul their dad virtually. Dave looked good and the hotel seemed nice. He sent me some photos:
He is on the 24th floor and it was about 1 hour and 45 minutes from the airport. He went to the 7-11 in the basement and stocked up on Ramen, bottled water and some snacks. Now he waits. As I type this it is 12:37PM in Tokyo. In less then 2 hours Dave will have Zoe in his arms!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Busy week
Friday, June 20th Dave flights out 8:36AM and arrives in Tokyo Saturday June 21st at 4:40PM.
Sunday at 2PM our adoption agency coordinator will bring Zoe to the hotel.
Monday morning Dave will take Zoe to the US embassy for her visa interview, following the interview she will get her medical exam. Her visa will be ready for pick up by Friday, June 27th. Dave leaves Tokyo on Saturday and arrives in Salt Lake City 4PM Saturday June 28th.
It has been a crazy week with planning and purchasing airfare, making hotel reservations and choosing a name.
When we got the phone call on Wednesday (June 11) it was so exciting. I was at my mom's house (she was watching Luke while I took the older kids to swimming and karate) and Dave called. He said did you get Kelsey's message?. . . What message? Apparently she called our home phone (all voice mail message are transcribed and emailed to us.) She left a message saying "I have exciting news for you."
So we called Kelsey together on a 3-way call. She was very cheerful on the phone and said that we have a referral. I was holding my breath waiting for all the details. She told us, it was a girl and I let out a big gasp! A daughter! We have a daughter. She told us her birth name was Hina (HE-na) and that she was born May 16. We were so excited! I have no memory of the rest of call. I just have vague memories of Dave and Kelsey talking about travel, power of attorney forms, wire transfers. . . But frankly I was swimming in images of baby girl clothes and sweet baby coos.
Of course the rest of the day was spent thinking about baby names. We have been talking about baby names for quite awhile. As a matter of fact, at the dinner table the night before we were talking about names. Spencer and Jacob had lots of suggestions. Cole and Kai (of Ninjago fame) where top contenders for a little brother. For little girl names Spencer really liked Aviva (from Wild Kratts). If you remember Spencer wanted to name Jacob Buzz Lightyear.
Dave and I still didn't have a name. I think the top contenders were Fiona, Claire, Sara and Hannah. I really liked Hannah, but when we found out her birthmom named her Hina the name "Hannah Hina" sounded a bit awkward. I really wanted to keep the name her birthmom gave her, it honors that choice to place her little girl with us and gives Zoe a connection to her birth family.
So we were talking about names and nothing seemed to fit, we tossed out a few more names and then Dave said, "What about Zoe?" When he said it, it was like a revelation. Yes, Zoe. We did a little research on the name and its meaning . . .
Zoe means "life" in Greek. From early times it was adopted by Hellenized Jews as a translation of Eve. It was borne by two early Christian saints, one martyred under emperor Hadrian, the other martyred under Diocletian. The name was common in the Byzantine Empire, being borne by a ruling empress of the 11th century. As an English name, Zoe has only been in use since the 19th century.
I just fell in love with the name. And I love how Zoe Hina Stirling sounds. Our little Zoe. The next question was how would we spell it? The classic Spelling is ZOË, with the accent mark on the E to have the emphasis on that sound. Although ZOE (no accent mark) is easy to type. Then again there is ZOEY, which is a more modern spelling.
In the end we have settled on Zoë. But in all actuality Zoe or Zoë works fine.
A week from today Zoë will be with her Daddy.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
The Newbie
Guess What?
We got a call from our adoption agency today! We have been matched with a little girl, born on May 16. Dave will travel to Tokyo to pick her up as soon as June 20th (still waiting for the embassy appointment to confirm the exact date). The trip will take about a week.
We got a call from our adoption agency today! We have been matched with a little girl, born on May 16. Dave will travel to Tokyo to pick her up as soon as June 20th (still waiting for the embassy appointment to confirm the exact date). The trip will take about a week.
No names yet. We're narrowing the list and I think we have it down to
about 10 names. :) We don't know very much yet, other than her birth
weight was 6.5 lbs. & she was 20 inches long. She is happy and healthy.
I'll send more info when we get it. Here are some pictures.
Much Love and Joy!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Under Contract
Finally. We got an offer on the house and we are under contract. The kicker is they want 7 weeks before closing. They are paying very close to our asking price, so we can live with that. I just wish we could move on a little more quickly . . . and who am I kidding. . . I really don't want to mow and tend to the 1/3 acre yard for 7 weeks when we can't even enjoy it.
The bottom line is, we are under contract and on July 25th we will be "sold." I feel so good about it. I felt so strongly (Dave and I both did) that moving was the right thing for our family. I fell in love with our new home in Daybreak and this place just feels like home. It is the perfect place for our family. The kids are adjusting well and making friends. I love all the parks and lovely setting. It is just right.
Of course the main reason we moved was because of Ella's mobility issues. We thought she had CP. But we found out after her MRI that her brain is "beautiful." She has no brain damage or scaring from any bleeds. Her brain is perfect, therefore she doesn't have Cerebral Palsy. It is wonderful to hear from a neurologist that your daughter's brain is "beautiful" but the next question is, "If it is not CP, what is causing her mobility issues?"
We have now moved to a neuromuscular specialist. It is kind of scary to have so many unknowns after I was settled into the idea of CP. It looks like she has a genetic neuromuscular disease. It could be something manageable with medication or it could be something that gets progressively worse. There is a list of things it could be, but two likely disorders are:
Peripheral Neuropathy: meaning nerve damage in the peripheral nervous system. Only nerves outside of the brain and spinal cord are involved, so peripheral neuropathy does not include nerve damage in the central nervous system. This can be treated with medication.
Myotonic dystrophy: It causes progressive weakness as the muscles deteriorate over time. There is no treatment available for the disease; though a few measures can help ease some symptoms, nothing can halt their inevitable progression.
One thing I was surprised to find out is that some of these disorders are accompanied by intellectual disability. (About 75% of kids with Myotonic Dystrophy also have intellectual disabilities.) There is a chance that Ella might not progress mentally. I was prepared for having a child with mobility issues, wheelchair/walker and making our home accessible. But thinking about a child that might not ever be able to care for herself or live independently was kind of stunning.
I wonder if her language skills are where they should be. Are there signs I am missing? She is not on par with other three year olds, but she has only been home for 5 months. How much is adjusting to a new language and culture and how much is an inherent mental disability?
Where do we go from here? More testing.
She will have a spinal tap and an EMG in July.
An electromyography (EMG) is used to diagnose muscle weakness caused by neuropathy. It can differentiate muscle weakness caused by nerve damage against that brought on by other neurological disorders.
The spinal tap will get fluid to test for genetic diseases. Once we know what kind of disorder/disease we are dealing with we can move forward with a treatment plan.
Overall the kids are happy here are we just waiting to see about Ella's testing. We are still # 1 on the list for a referral from Japan and I am already dreaming about when we can finish our backyard once we close on the house in Herriman.
What would an update be without a cute photo? How I love these kiddos :)
The bottom line is, we are under contract and on July 25th we will be "sold." I feel so good about it. I felt so strongly (Dave and I both did) that moving was the right thing for our family. I fell in love with our new home in Daybreak and this place just feels like home. It is the perfect place for our family. The kids are adjusting well and making friends. I love all the parks and lovely setting. It is just right.
Of course the main reason we moved was because of Ella's mobility issues. We thought she had CP. But we found out after her MRI that her brain is "beautiful." She has no brain damage or scaring from any bleeds. Her brain is perfect, therefore she doesn't have Cerebral Palsy. It is wonderful to hear from a neurologist that your daughter's brain is "beautiful" but the next question is, "If it is not CP, what is causing her mobility issues?"
We have now moved to a neuromuscular specialist. It is kind of scary to have so many unknowns after I was settled into the idea of CP. It looks like she has a genetic neuromuscular disease. It could be something manageable with medication or it could be something that gets progressively worse. There is a list of things it could be, but two likely disorders are:
Peripheral Neuropathy: meaning nerve damage in the peripheral nervous system. Only nerves outside of the brain and spinal cord are involved, so peripheral neuropathy does not include nerve damage in the central nervous system. This can be treated with medication.
Myotonic dystrophy: It causes progressive weakness as the muscles deteriorate over time. There is no treatment available for the disease; though a few measures can help ease some symptoms, nothing can halt their inevitable progression.
One thing I was surprised to find out is that some of these disorders are accompanied by intellectual disability. (About 75% of kids with Myotonic Dystrophy also have intellectual disabilities.) There is a chance that Ella might not progress mentally. I was prepared for having a child with mobility issues, wheelchair/walker and making our home accessible. But thinking about a child that might not ever be able to care for herself or live independently was kind of stunning.
I wonder if her language skills are where they should be. Are there signs I am missing? She is not on par with other three year olds, but she has only been home for 5 months. How much is adjusting to a new language and culture and how much is an inherent mental disability?
Where do we go from here? More testing.
She will have a spinal tap and an EMG in July.
An electromyography (EMG) is used to diagnose muscle weakness caused by neuropathy. It can differentiate muscle weakness caused by nerve damage against that brought on by other neurological disorders.
The spinal tap will get fluid to test for genetic diseases. Once we know what kind of disorder/disease we are dealing with we can move forward with a treatment plan.
Overall the kids are happy here are we just waiting to see about Ella's testing. We are still # 1 on the list for a referral from Japan and I am already dreaming about when we can finish our backyard once we close on the house in Herriman.
What would an update be without a cute photo? How I love these kiddos :)
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