Sunday, August 7, 2016
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Home for 2 weeks
Wow. We have been home for 2 weeks. It is kind of unreal to think that 14 days ago we were just getting home from the airport. It has been a good couple of weeks and has been better then I expected. But when it comes to adoptions our motto is: hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
William has been good. It took him a few days to truly warm up to me. He really preferred Dave in China. When Dave was out of sight he would let me hold him, but if he had the inkling that Dave was available I was moldy white fish. Since coming home and spending all day with me, he has really learned to depend on me and loves to be held and cuddled. He also loves to laugh. . . and head butt. Actually, he will now cry if I leave and Dave is holding him. He is very affectionate and loves to play and climb all over you. I think he prefers to have both Dave and I nearby.
I would say his personality is basically cheerful. He loves to investigate and has gotten along well with his siblings. At times it seems like he has always been with us. Sleep times are still hard. Before nap time and bed time, or even if he hears the words "nigh-night" he bursts into tears. He is great as long as you are holding him and rocking him, then he cries when you put him in his crib. It's hard to find the balance between holding him in the rocking chair all night (basically what Dave did in China) and letting him cry. Honesty it simply is not practical to hold him all night. We have 5 other kids that we need to tuck into bed and being a parent is exhausting. . . I need to get tucked into bed too.
Ahh sweet sleep. That is something you don't hear a lot about. When a family brings home a baby from the hospital, it is assumed that the mom is tired and needs time to recuperate. But with an adoption I assure you the parents are also tired and need time to recuperate. I think I can do most things if I have enough sleep. But when you are going on so little sleep, it makes it impossible to function in a rational manner. After 4 hours of sleep you think that Poptarts for dinner sounds like a great idea.
At any rate, other then the sleeping situation things are going well. Will fits perfectly and I have so much love for him. Truly, he melts my heart with that smile. I also love to see this siblings playing with him and loving him too.
On to the medical info. William has three medial needs; club foot, ABS affecting fingers and plagiocephaly. We took him to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to start his casting for the club foot. This is a very mild and correctable need. Will will be wearing a cast that will be changed every week. The cast will slowly turn his foot. After 8-12 weeks of casting he will need a tendon release surgery and then a cast for about 3 weeks. After the casting is complete we will move into brace mode. He will wear a brace for 23 hours a day for about 3 months, then just at night until he is about 4. I feel like this is no big deal, we went through this with Jacob.
For his ABS (Amniotic band syndrome) that will be a more detailed treatment and mostly likely several surgeries in the future. We see a pediatric hand specialist next week. We should be able to get a lot of information for that appointment. I feel confident that the three fingers fused on his left hand can be separated and perhaps some z-plasty on his right index finger. I will be sure and share the scoop after the appointment.
Finally we have plagiocephaly. This is a condition where a child has a flat side of the head. (Common in orphanages when children lay in bed for long periods.) When looking at Will straight on you cannot tell his head shape is asymmetrical. But it is noticeable and our pediatrician told us it is "severe." Most children with plagiocephaly have a facial deformity that is visible, but with William it is very subtle. We are seeing a specialist on Tuesday to see about getting Will a helmet to help correct the shape. Conventional wisdom says that not much can be done after the child is 18 months old, but I have seen some research and also some anecdotal evidence that says it may help.
So, let's hope that we can get William a helmet and that we can make some improvements on this. Even if it doesn't show a dramatic improvement, I will rest easier knowing that we did everything in our power. He may be wearing the helmet for a year. Zoe also had plagiocephaly and she only needed her helmet for about 4 months, although she was less then 12 months old. It worked well for her and I am feeling optimistic for Will.
On to other things in our first 2 weeks home, school started! I have three in elementary school and Luke starts preschool the end of August. Spencer is in the ALPS (gifted and talented program) and Jacob is starting Chinese immersion. Ella starts afternoon kindergarten. They are all so amazing to me. How I love to see them learn. I like all of their teachers and feel great about the new year.
And to top off the fortnight, my brother and his family came to visit from the East coast. I loved seeing them all. Wow. My little brother has a senior who just graduated high school. . . and I have two kids in diapers. It was a wonderful visit.
Honestly, I had anticipated the first few weeks to be more laid back. We wanted to cut back on activities and just cocoon with William. But we had William's blessing and a family get together with 27 people, family visits, cub scout meetings, play dates, speaking in church, preparing Sunday school lessons, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, karate, shopping, temple attendance. . . Man, I need to take some time and figure out how to be a mom with 6 kids. How do you cut back? I think I might need to accept that our new life might be slightly more chaotic.
Living the dream.
William has been good. It took him a few days to truly warm up to me. He really preferred Dave in China. When Dave was out of sight he would let me hold him, but if he had the inkling that Dave was available I was moldy white fish. Since coming home and spending all day with me, he has really learned to depend on me and loves to be held and cuddled. He also loves to laugh. . . and head butt. Actually, he will now cry if I leave and Dave is holding him. He is very affectionate and loves to play and climb all over you. I think he prefers to have both Dave and I nearby.
I would say his personality is basically cheerful. He loves to investigate and has gotten along well with his siblings. At times it seems like he has always been with us. Sleep times are still hard. Before nap time and bed time, or even if he hears the words "nigh-night" he bursts into tears. He is great as long as you are holding him and rocking him, then he cries when you put him in his crib. It's hard to find the balance between holding him in the rocking chair all night (basically what Dave did in China) and letting him cry. Honesty it simply is not practical to hold him all night. We have 5 other kids that we need to tuck into bed and being a parent is exhausting. . . I need to get tucked into bed too.
Ahh sweet sleep. That is something you don't hear a lot about. When a family brings home a baby from the hospital, it is assumed that the mom is tired and needs time to recuperate. But with an adoption I assure you the parents are also tired and need time to recuperate. I think I can do most things if I have enough sleep. But when you are going on so little sleep, it makes it impossible to function in a rational manner. After 4 hours of sleep you think that Poptarts for dinner sounds like a great idea.
At any rate, other then the sleeping situation things are going well. Will fits perfectly and I have so much love for him. Truly, he melts my heart with that smile. I also love to see this siblings playing with him and loving him too.
On to the medical info. William has three medial needs; club foot, ABS affecting fingers and plagiocephaly. We took him to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to start his casting for the club foot. This is a very mild and correctable need. Will will be wearing a cast that will be changed every week. The cast will slowly turn his foot. After 8-12 weeks of casting he will need a tendon release surgery and then a cast for about 3 weeks. After the casting is complete we will move into brace mode. He will wear a brace for 23 hours a day for about 3 months, then just at night until he is about 4. I feel like this is no big deal, we went through this with Jacob.
For his ABS (Amniotic band syndrome) that will be a more detailed treatment and mostly likely several surgeries in the future. We see a pediatric hand specialist next week. We should be able to get a lot of information for that appointment. I feel confident that the three fingers fused on his left hand can be separated and perhaps some z-plasty on his right index finger. I will be sure and share the scoop after the appointment.
Finally we have plagiocephaly. This is a condition where a child has a flat side of the head. (Common in orphanages when children lay in bed for long periods.) When looking at Will straight on you cannot tell his head shape is asymmetrical. But it is noticeable and our pediatrician told us it is "severe." Most children with plagiocephaly have a facial deformity that is visible, but with William it is very subtle. We are seeing a specialist on Tuesday to see about getting Will a helmet to help correct the shape. Conventional wisdom says that not much can be done after the child is 18 months old, but I have seen some research and also some anecdotal evidence that says it may help.
So, let's hope that we can get William a helmet and that we can make some improvements on this. Even if it doesn't show a dramatic improvement, I will rest easier knowing that we did everything in our power. He may be wearing the helmet for a year. Zoe also had plagiocephaly and she only needed her helmet for about 4 months, although she was less then 12 months old. It worked well for her and I am feeling optimistic for Will.
On to other things in our first 2 weeks home, school started! I have three in elementary school and Luke starts preschool the end of August. Spencer is in the ALPS (gifted and talented program) and Jacob is starting Chinese immersion. Ella starts afternoon kindergarten. They are all so amazing to me. How I love to see them learn. I like all of their teachers and feel great about the new year.
And to top off the fortnight, my brother and his family came to visit from the East coast. I loved seeing them all. Wow. My little brother has a senior who just graduated high school. . . and I have two kids in diapers. It was a wonderful visit.
Honestly, I had anticipated the first few weeks to be more laid back. We wanted to cut back on activities and just cocoon with William. But we had William's blessing and a family get together with 27 people, family visits, cub scout meetings, play dates, speaking in church, preparing Sunday school lessons, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, karate, shopping, temple attendance. . . Man, I need to take some time and figure out how to be a mom with 6 kids. How do you cut back? I think I might need to accept that our new life might be slightly more chaotic.
Living the dream.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Friday, July 22, 2016
So long Hong Kong
I have been really happy with our accommodations and our last hotel was no exception. It was attached to a 7 level shopping center. Tons of restaurants and shopping, we were able to pick up snacks from a grocery store and I also managed to find my favorite drink, that I can only find in Asia.
We all the restaurant choices, we ended up at outback steak house. We have had lots and lots of Chinese food and it was nice to order burgers and pasta. But frankly eating out has gotten really old and managing three children at a restaurant has been a challenge. I'm quite happy to be bidding adieu to eating out.
Of course the highlight of our stay in Hong Kong was having William sealed to us in the Hong Kong temple. Wow.
The first time I attended this temple was in 1998 with my roommate and college friend. I just loved it and little did I know, almost 20 years later I'd be there to have my son sealed to me.
It was a little hectic when we arrived because we realized we forgot to bring the adoption decree. So Dave and Jacob took a taxi back to the hotel to get it.
Spencer, Will and I all waited in the youth center until they returned. I got to dress William in white. It was the same white suit each of his older brothers wore. I'm so glad I brought it, it made it very special.
The temple president, President Wong, preformed the sealing. He was born in Hong Kong, so it made it so special to have a native Chinese member of the church seal Will to us. He seemed genuinely happy and touched by our adoption story. Spencer and Jacob hot to watch the sealing.
Spencer remembers, "The words at the front of the building said 'Hong Kong temple'. I remember when we went inside I felt a really peaceful feeling. I knew this was the day that William would be sealed the to us. I remember feeling happy. I remember seeing lots of flowers and people in white. William was so happy when he played with me. I want to remember this feeling from the temple because it will be a long time before I get to go back to the temple. "
Jacob remembers the fountain in the front of the temple. He also remembers all the men wearing white suits. He says, "It was very nice. My favorite part was how peaceful it was. It was super fun and exciting."
After the sealing President Wong had our family all stand together and look in the mirrors that represents eternity. I could feel Ella, Luke and Zoe with us. Our beautiful family, eternal.
The road has not be easy and there are still many hurdles and pitfalls ahead. But I know we have the power of His spirit to guide us along our this marvelous and unexpected journey.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
For time and all eternity
William is ours, for time and all eternity. We were sealed in the Hong Kong temple this morning and my feelings are very tender.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Last day in Guangzhou
Karla's been doing a great job documenting the trip on the blog but also thought I'd chime in.
Yesterday was our appointment at the US Consulate for Will's visa. Everything went relatively quickly, though it was still kind of chaotic. Imagine standing around with ten or fifteen other adoptive families in the lobby of the department of motor vehicles, waiting for your turn to come up to the glass window, while hordes of kids are running around screaming, and you get the idea. Eventually we had all our interviews and got everything squared away. Will's visa should be ready at the end of the day today (Wednesday) and then we will be good to go to Hong Kong.
After the consulate appointment, we went to Shamian Island, which is where we stayed five years ago for Jacob's adoption. It's a former colonial enclave with lots of beautiful architecture from the time the British and French had their trading ports here. Very beautiful old-growth trees in the parks and some tourist shops. We ate at Lucy's, which is an American-style diner that sprung up several years ago to cater to adoptive families when the consulate was nearby. The consulate has relocated but the restaurant is still there and we enjoyed hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. It was kind of fun to retrace our footsteps from Jacob's adoption (and Karla's footsteps from two years ago with Ella). After lunch we went shopping for some souvenirs and got caught in a monstrous downpour that soaked everyone (Will had a shade on his stroller that blocked some of the rain). We were glad to get back to the hotel and dry off.
Sleeping arrangements for Will have been a challenge on this trip. There are so many families staying at this hotel that there are no cribs available, so Will has been sleeping in the king bed with us. You would think that would give enough space, but he is a sprawling sleeper and his favorite nocturnal activity is to paw at you, try to get his fingers up your nose, and so forth. Karla has borne the brunt of this the past few nights since he simply will not settle down *at all* when I am in the bed. I gave up last night around 10 pm and went to sleep on the couch, and she was stuck with him and his off-and-on nocturnal adventures all night. I think the kid is in for a rude awakening when we get home and he's in a crib, but we don't have the resources here to force the issue so I guess we're just delaying the inevitable. But it's all good. He is not a great sleeper but all things considered it could be much worse.
Today is another off day while we wait for Will's visa. We'll probably go to the pool and the older boys may go back to the arcade in the mall across the street. I think they'll enjoy it but as far as Karla and I are concerned, we are just marking time. One more day until we drive to Hong Kong; two more days until we're at the Temple, then one more day after that until we get on the plane. We wish it were time to go home and see our other kids. But that will come soon enough.
Thanks for all your love and prayers!
Monday, July 18, 2016
Free days
Sunday and Monday were both free days for us here. No appointments and just family time.
On Sunday we went to church. There is an English speaking branch here Guangzhou. It was pretty small, maybe 20 people. We are here during the summer holiday and most people were gone. I guess there are a lot of English teachers that work here during the school year and travel home for visits during the holidays.
Sacrament meeting was 45 minutes and then there was a second meeting that was 45 minutes. At the Sacrament meeting they said during the holiday it was "self service" and any help would be appreciated.
Since Will was on Dave's lap for the whole meeting I said I'd take him to primary with me to see if I could help there. If Dave is not in sight Will is happy to be with me, but if he thinks there's a choice.... Dave every time.
The church was held in rented conference rooms at the Ramada hotel. So I took the boys to the primary room, a couple of conference rooms down and Dave stayed in the first room for a combine relief society and priesthood meeting.
As I left, William reached for dad and cried for about 30 seconds then was fine. Me and the boys went to primary and sat in the first row. I told the primary president I'd be happy to help. There were 8 kids. The president asked me to lead the music. I lead the music for about 10 minutes, then it was time for sharing time.
It was a great lesson about the 10 leapers and gratitude. Then the kids had a chance to color. And before you knew it 90 minutes was up and we were catching a taxi back to. The hotel.
We met some nice people there. There was a nice family who just arrived for a 3 or 4 year stint working for the US Consolate. The family had 5 kids and was Maryland. They had lived an a few exotic places.
Dave also met a brother that was moving to Nanning. He said when he was there he attended church online. There is a "virtual branch" that meets each Sunday throughout China. I hadn't heard of that before.
So, Sunday was a great day. Honestly it was almost like we were at home. Spencer and Jacob got a little antsy and on each other's nerves... So it was just like home.
Monday was another free day. There is a huge... HUGE 8 level shopping and entertainment complex right next to our hotel. So we planned to see movie. However we didn't see any family movies and the boys saw an arcade right when the elevator opened on the 7th floor. Jacob gasped and ran towards it.
So, the morning was spent at the arcade. I think the boys had fun, but it was really warm and by the time we left everyone was feeling kind of wilty.
There was a grocery store in the basement, so we grabbed some supplies and and ice cream cone on the way back to our hotel. We had noodles for lunch. We have had noodles almost every day and Spencer informed me he's getting tired of noodles.... Wait until your college years young friend.
The afternoon was spent on minecraft and star control. A perfect fun and relaxing day. We finished it with dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant. Our local is ideal, we are surrounded by everything we could ever want or need.
Today should be a great day. We complete Will's citizenship process (until it becomes official when we touch ground o American soil.) Then off to Shaiman Island and gift shopping.
Can't hardly wait. We gave 2 1/2 days left in Guangzhou. One day closer to home.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Hello Guangzhou!
We finally made it! After a 2 hour delay in Lanzhou we climbed aboard the leg-cramp express and were off... after another 2 hours sitting on the plane. Yes, you heard me right, 4 hours of waiting with three kiddos while the blood circulation was slowly being cut off from my legs. And I'm not even 6'5".
But, that's all behind us now. We're in Guangzhou and I love our accommodations. It's a two bedroom apartment. I did 7 loads of laundry today, 7. It feels fabulous to have clean clothes. No more waking up digging through your suitcase looking for the lease dirty shirt.
Today was Will's medical appointment for his visa/citizenship application. He did great. He only cried for the first 30 minutes he didn't see Dave. When we were at the medical appointment a man with Dave's same hair color and glasses walked by Will. He burst into tears and reached for him. He kind of walked by (with a little girl in a stroller) and said "hi dude" and kept walking. William kept reaching and voiced his displeasure loudly.
He eventually calmed down again and we finished the exam. They took general stats, height, weight (22. 8lbs) and head circumference. We also saw an ENT and a general looking over with reflexes, skin, joints, and an issued diagnosis of his special need (club foot and finger and toe deformity). It was not too busy and went smoothly. I even had time to feed him a bottle and he fell asleep in my arms on the way home.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Dave and the older boys did some exploring and got us a few things for the kitchen. Did I mention I love this place. We have a washer and dryer, fridge, microwave, 3 TVs, wooden hangers and tons of space. If we have to live here for a week... This is the way to go. They also have a breakfast buffet.
Spencer and Jacob have been good helpers. We plan to take them to Shaiman island. There are tons of souvenir shops and the famous "Lucy's" restaurant (we have eaten here on every trip). We got hand carved wooden swords for all our boys 2 years ago with ella's adoption. The swords have been well loved and taped together several times.
But, that's all behind us now. We're in Guangzhou and I love our accommodations. It's a two bedroom apartment. I did 7 loads of laundry today, 7. It feels fabulous to have clean clothes. No more waking up digging through your suitcase looking for the lease dirty shirt.
Today was Will's medical appointment for his visa/citizenship application. He did great. He only cried for the first 30 minutes he didn't see Dave. When we were at the medical appointment a man with Dave's same hair color and glasses walked by Will. He burst into tears and reached for him. He kind of walked by (with a little girl in a stroller) and said "hi dude" and kept walking. William kept reaching and voiced his displeasure loudly.
He eventually calmed down again and we finished the exam. They took general stats, height, weight (22. 8lbs) and head circumference. We also saw an ENT and a general looking over with reflexes, skin, joints, and an issued diagnosis of his special need (club foot and finger and toe deformity). It was not too busy and went smoothly. I even had time to feed him a bottle and he fell asleep in my arms on the way home.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Dave and the older boys did some exploring and got us a few things for the kitchen. Did I mention I love this place. We have a washer and dryer, fridge, microwave, 3 TVs, wooden hangers and tons of space. If we have to live here for a week... This is the way to go. They also have a breakfast buffet.
Spencer and Jacob have been good helpers. We plan to take them to Shaiman island. There are tons of souvenir shops and the famous "Lucy's" restaurant (we have eaten here on every trip). We got hand carved wooden swords for all our boys 2 years ago with ella's adoption. The swords have been well loved and taped together several times.
I have loved sharing this experience with Spencer and Jacob. They truly remind me of how much I love being a mom. I miss Ella, Luke and Zoe. I can't wait to see them next week. Just 6 days to go!
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