Sunday, August 7, 2016
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Home for 2 weeks
Wow. We have been home for 2 weeks. It is kind of unreal to think that 14 days ago we were just getting home from the airport. It has been a good couple of weeks and has been better then I expected. But when it comes to adoptions our motto is: hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
William has been good. It took him a few days to truly warm up to me. He really preferred Dave in China. When Dave was out of sight he would let me hold him, but if he had the inkling that Dave was available I was moldy white fish. Since coming home and spending all day with me, he has really learned to depend on me and loves to be held and cuddled. He also loves to laugh. . . and head butt. Actually, he will now cry if I leave and Dave is holding him. He is very affectionate and loves to play and climb all over you. I think he prefers to have both Dave and I nearby.
I would say his personality is basically cheerful. He loves to investigate and has gotten along well with his siblings. At times it seems like he has always been with us. Sleep times are still hard. Before nap time and bed time, or even if he hears the words "nigh-night" he bursts into tears. He is great as long as you are holding him and rocking him, then he cries when you put him in his crib. It's hard to find the balance between holding him in the rocking chair all night (basically what Dave did in China) and letting him cry. Honesty it simply is not practical to hold him all night. We have 5 other kids that we need to tuck into bed and being a parent is exhausting. . . I need to get tucked into bed too.
Ahh sweet sleep. That is something you don't hear a lot about. When a family brings home a baby from the hospital, it is assumed that the mom is tired and needs time to recuperate. But with an adoption I assure you the parents are also tired and need time to recuperate. I think I can do most things if I have enough sleep. But when you are going on so little sleep, it makes it impossible to function in a rational manner. After 4 hours of sleep you think that Poptarts for dinner sounds like a great idea.
At any rate, other then the sleeping situation things are going well. Will fits perfectly and I have so much love for him. Truly, he melts my heart with that smile. I also love to see this siblings playing with him and loving him too.
On to the medical info. William has three medial needs; club foot, ABS affecting fingers and plagiocephaly. We took him to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to start his casting for the club foot. This is a very mild and correctable need. Will will be wearing a cast that will be changed every week. The cast will slowly turn his foot. After 8-12 weeks of casting he will need a tendon release surgery and then a cast for about 3 weeks. After the casting is complete we will move into brace mode. He will wear a brace for 23 hours a day for about 3 months, then just at night until he is about 4. I feel like this is no big deal, we went through this with Jacob.
For his ABS (Amniotic band syndrome) that will be a more detailed treatment and mostly likely several surgeries in the future. We see a pediatric hand specialist next week. We should be able to get a lot of information for that appointment. I feel confident that the three fingers fused on his left hand can be separated and perhaps some z-plasty on his right index finger. I will be sure and share the scoop after the appointment.
Finally we have plagiocephaly. This is a condition where a child has a flat side of the head. (Common in orphanages when children lay in bed for long periods.) When looking at Will straight on you cannot tell his head shape is asymmetrical. But it is noticeable and our pediatrician told us it is "severe." Most children with plagiocephaly have a facial deformity that is visible, but with William it is very subtle. We are seeing a specialist on Tuesday to see about getting Will a helmet to help correct the shape. Conventional wisdom says that not much can be done after the child is 18 months old, but I have seen some research and also some anecdotal evidence that says it may help.
So, let's hope that we can get William a helmet and that we can make some improvements on this. Even if it doesn't show a dramatic improvement, I will rest easier knowing that we did everything in our power. He may be wearing the helmet for a year. Zoe also had plagiocephaly and she only needed her helmet for about 4 months, although she was less then 12 months old. It worked well for her and I am feeling optimistic for Will.
On to other things in our first 2 weeks home, school started! I have three in elementary school and Luke starts preschool the end of August. Spencer is in the ALPS (gifted and talented program) and Jacob is starting Chinese immersion. Ella starts afternoon kindergarten. They are all so amazing to me. How I love to see them learn. I like all of their teachers and feel great about the new year.
And to top off the fortnight, my brother and his family came to visit from the East coast. I loved seeing them all. Wow. My little brother has a senior who just graduated high school. . . and I have two kids in diapers. It was a wonderful visit.
Honestly, I had anticipated the first few weeks to be more laid back. We wanted to cut back on activities and just cocoon with William. But we had William's blessing and a family get together with 27 people, family visits, cub scout meetings, play dates, speaking in church, preparing Sunday school lessons, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, karate, shopping, temple attendance. . . Man, I need to take some time and figure out how to be a mom with 6 kids. How do you cut back? I think I might need to accept that our new life might be slightly more chaotic.
Living the dream.
William has been good. It took him a few days to truly warm up to me. He really preferred Dave in China. When Dave was out of sight he would let me hold him, but if he had the inkling that Dave was available I was moldy white fish. Since coming home and spending all day with me, he has really learned to depend on me and loves to be held and cuddled. He also loves to laugh. . . and head butt. Actually, he will now cry if I leave and Dave is holding him. He is very affectionate and loves to play and climb all over you. I think he prefers to have both Dave and I nearby.
I would say his personality is basically cheerful. He loves to investigate and has gotten along well with his siblings. At times it seems like he has always been with us. Sleep times are still hard. Before nap time and bed time, or even if he hears the words "nigh-night" he bursts into tears. He is great as long as you are holding him and rocking him, then he cries when you put him in his crib. It's hard to find the balance between holding him in the rocking chair all night (basically what Dave did in China) and letting him cry. Honesty it simply is not practical to hold him all night. We have 5 other kids that we need to tuck into bed and being a parent is exhausting. . . I need to get tucked into bed too.
Ahh sweet sleep. That is something you don't hear a lot about. When a family brings home a baby from the hospital, it is assumed that the mom is tired and needs time to recuperate. But with an adoption I assure you the parents are also tired and need time to recuperate. I think I can do most things if I have enough sleep. But when you are going on so little sleep, it makes it impossible to function in a rational manner. After 4 hours of sleep you think that Poptarts for dinner sounds like a great idea.
At any rate, other then the sleeping situation things are going well. Will fits perfectly and I have so much love for him. Truly, he melts my heart with that smile. I also love to see this siblings playing with him and loving him too.
On to the medical info. William has three medial needs; club foot, ABS affecting fingers and plagiocephaly. We took him to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to start his casting for the club foot. This is a very mild and correctable need. Will will be wearing a cast that will be changed every week. The cast will slowly turn his foot. After 8-12 weeks of casting he will need a tendon release surgery and then a cast for about 3 weeks. After the casting is complete we will move into brace mode. He will wear a brace for 23 hours a day for about 3 months, then just at night until he is about 4. I feel like this is no big deal, we went through this with Jacob.
For his ABS (Amniotic band syndrome) that will be a more detailed treatment and mostly likely several surgeries in the future. We see a pediatric hand specialist next week. We should be able to get a lot of information for that appointment. I feel confident that the three fingers fused on his left hand can be separated and perhaps some z-plasty on his right index finger. I will be sure and share the scoop after the appointment.
Finally we have plagiocephaly. This is a condition where a child has a flat side of the head. (Common in orphanages when children lay in bed for long periods.) When looking at Will straight on you cannot tell his head shape is asymmetrical. But it is noticeable and our pediatrician told us it is "severe." Most children with plagiocephaly have a facial deformity that is visible, but with William it is very subtle. We are seeing a specialist on Tuesday to see about getting Will a helmet to help correct the shape. Conventional wisdom says that not much can be done after the child is 18 months old, but I have seen some research and also some anecdotal evidence that says it may help.
So, let's hope that we can get William a helmet and that we can make some improvements on this. Even if it doesn't show a dramatic improvement, I will rest easier knowing that we did everything in our power. He may be wearing the helmet for a year. Zoe also had plagiocephaly and she only needed her helmet for about 4 months, although she was less then 12 months old. It worked well for her and I am feeling optimistic for Will.
On to other things in our first 2 weeks home, school started! I have three in elementary school and Luke starts preschool the end of August. Spencer is in the ALPS (gifted and talented program) and Jacob is starting Chinese immersion. Ella starts afternoon kindergarten. They are all so amazing to me. How I love to see them learn. I like all of their teachers and feel great about the new year.
And to top off the fortnight, my brother and his family came to visit from the East coast. I loved seeing them all. Wow. My little brother has a senior who just graduated high school. . . and I have two kids in diapers. It was a wonderful visit.
Honestly, I had anticipated the first few weeks to be more laid back. We wanted to cut back on activities and just cocoon with William. But we had William's blessing and a family get together with 27 people, family visits, cub scout meetings, play dates, speaking in church, preparing Sunday school lessons, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, karate, shopping, temple attendance. . . Man, I need to take some time and figure out how to be a mom with 6 kids. How do you cut back? I think I might need to accept that our new life might be slightly more chaotic.
Living the dream.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Friday, July 22, 2016
So long Hong Kong
I have been really happy with our accommodations and our last hotel was no exception. It was attached to a 7 level shopping center. Tons of restaurants and shopping, we were able to pick up snacks from a grocery store and I also managed to find my favorite drink, that I can only find in Asia.
We all the restaurant choices, we ended up at outback steak house. We have had lots and lots of Chinese food and it was nice to order burgers and pasta. But frankly eating out has gotten really old and managing three children at a restaurant has been a challenge. I'm quite happy to be bidding adieu to eating out.
Of course the highlight of our stay in Hong Kong was having William sealed to us in the Hong Kong temple. Wow.
The first time I attended this temple was in 1998 with my roommate and college friend. I just loved it and little did I know, almost 20 years later I'd be there to have my son sealed to me.
It was a little hectic when we arrived because we realized we forgot to bring the adoption decree. So Dave and Jacob took a taxi back to the hotel to get it.
Spencer, Will and I all waited in the youth center until they returned. I got to dress William in white. It was the same white suit each of his older brothers wore. I'm so glad I brought it, it made it very special.
The temple president, President Wong, preformed the sealing. He was born in Hong Kong, so it made it so special to have a native Chinese member of the church seal Will to us. He seemed genuinely happy and touched by our adoption story. Spencer and Jacob hot to watch the sealing.
Spencer remembers, "The words at the front of the building said 'Hong Kong temple'. I remember when we went inside I felt a really peaceful feeling. I knew this was the day that William would be sealed the to us. I remember feeling happy. I remember seeing lots of flowers and people in white. William was so happy when he played with me. I want to remember this feeling from the temple because it will be a long time before I get to go back to the temple. "
Jacob remembers the fountain in the front of the temple. He also remembers all the men wearing white suits. He says, "It was very nice. My favorite part was how peaceful it was. It was super fun and exciting."
After the sealing President Wong had our family all stand together and look in the mirrors that represents eternity. I could feel Ella, Luke and Zoe with us. Our beautiful family, eternal.
The road has not be easy and there are still many hurdles and pitfalls ahead. But I know we have the power of His spirit to guide us along our this marvelous and unexpected journey.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
For time and all eternity
William is ours, for time and all eternity. We were sealed in the Hong Kong temple this morning and my feelings are very tender.
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